Hey Bebes, you know I'm huge on living your truth and promote the idea of being your authentic self and shining your light... to do as you see fit and follow your passion. I still want these things for everyone, however, while in a convo with the bestie the other day, it dawned on me - Do you even know who you are? I mean here I am telling you to be yourself and shine and you may not even know who you are. Please allow me to elaborate...
Since infancy, we are told who we are, what we are, and what we should or shouldn't like. We are taught what to think, how to think and how to think not. Think about it (pun intended), even before we're born the programming is readied. Mom and dad find out they're pregnant, upon finding out the gender of the baby they start to ready the nursery - pink for a girl and blue for a boy. Who made up all these rules anyway, and where was I in this decision making? Is it any wonder there are so many mental "disorders"? An influx in the number of cases of people suffering from anxiety, stress, and depression (to name a few) is alarming. The kicker? No one seems to know where it is stemming from. I beg to differ! If you suffered trauma it's understandable to struggle with your mental health. After all, trauma completely disrupts mind and spirit. Many times traumas leave us "broken" and confused. We are left with the pain and hardship of trying to find our norm again. But what about the rest of us who haven't experienced such trauma? Why are so many of us also suffering from mental health?
That evening I wondered how many people are doing things they aren't even passionate about? How many went for the titles, degrees, and positions that were expected of them? You know the whole mom and dad are doctors so I should be a doctor too shpiel. Even if you're one of the fortunate ones that were able to see the pattern and were brave enough to pursue your own path, you are quickly pushed back into line, sometimes by your entire family! Being the caring humans we are and wanting to please loved ones, most of us eventually crack and follow suit, as to not cause the family grief and disappointment. Some even learn to love their arranged-life, but it's not their passion. It's understandable, this path is usually safer because it's fail-proof, at times even idiot-proof. You get to ride the coat tail of the family legacy or whatever. In other words, the hard part has been eliminated thanks to all the work put in by those before you... but does it bring you joy? Do you feel fulfilled? Is it your passion and how do you know for sure?
The number one regret from those in their death beds is "I wish I would have cared less what others thought and done more of what I loved." Imagine if everyone was living their passion? Imagine having professors that actually love to teach, accountants that actually want to count (ya'll special, I don't know how you do it)? Then upon losing said passion, they follow their new bliss, how brilliant would their lives be? How happy would we be as individuals but more so as a society? I bet the number of mental health issues would decline in a heartbeat.
So how do we even begin to peel off the layers caked on us? Personally, I believe doing things alone, meditation and reflection of the day's events help. Take yourself out for a date, spoil yourself and explore the emotions that arise from your activities - see what jives and what doesn't. Be childlike again and give in to your curiosities and have fun with it. Dare to be free, awkward and unique! I'm not claiming to know the answer to the aforementioned issues, but I do know that it can't be healthy to be doing things that don't resonate with you.
There is a Sioux proverb that says "The longest journey you will make in your life is the 18 inches from your head to your heart". Why not start that journey now? Who knows, you might mess around and stumble into your happy place.
My path has laid itself out before me every step of the way. Even when I ignored it or rejected it, it kept finding a way to loop back around. I’ve always been spiritual, but never knew the direction that spirituality would take. I just keep stepping in the direction of what resonates as truth.
My biggest concern about our beauty culture is that we are still encouraged to live up to unrealistic standards, and in fact, both the encouragement and the unrealistic standards have become increasingly persistent and difficult because of the pervasive intrusions of social media.